Sewerslvt - dissociating

I started making this track around may, at first the idea I had in mind was to make a slow breakbeat track that mixed feelings of despair & release. I really wanted to make something like that because of how much we’d listen to George Clanton’s “Livin Loose“ while driving around Sydney singing along. She told me a while ago that “Slide“ meant a lot to her & that at the time these songs reflected her thoughts on our relationship. I thought it would be something nice to include. These plans were scrapped after attending her funeral, where I experienced the worst mental breakdown I’ve ever had in in my life. I remember collapsing to the floor screaming, crying, & having an uncontrollable fit of paradoxical laughter. Since then I’ve been experiencing a lot more dissociative episodes, it felt like a curse because she would suffer the same, & rather frequently. In those moments I’d try to help, but she was just a husk, it was overwhelming to have seen it for myself & being helpless to do anything to help her as m