Into the Dark and Away
When you’ve learnt by heart the patterns on the carpet
The grain of the floorboards pressed flush against your cheek
When you’ve grown sick of counting the dust motes
Staring dazedly as they dance in the draft
And collect under the dresser
As so many discarded dreams
When you’ve bored yourself numb and blind
Stand up or perhaps crawl downstairs
Sneak through the window, into the unlit dawn
Light as a sigh, since no one is here to stop you
Heavy as a sob, for no one is here to stop you.
Through the garden, barefoot across the flower beds
Bending the pliant necks of your mother’s tulips
Her ancient tabby cat, keeping watch from the parapet
Wailing and whining, rasping its bitter refrain
Won’t you wait, won’t you listen,
Won’t you please try and understand
You headstrong girl,
You silly girl,
You golden child
But it’s too late for pleading, you’ve been halfway gone a long time
So go for good,
Go over the fence and into the fields
Over the fence and away
Go and sleep under the willow tree
Where its long fingers will trace its sorrow upon you
There you might find rest and forget
Forget the lonely sound of the leaking faucet
Forget the unlived life
And even your own name
When the alarm clock rings with echoes of school bells
Tolling mercilessly, striking the hour
When the chirping of birds turns to nasty singsong
Twittering their teetering chant
When you haven’t closed your eyes in weeks
And yet morning still comes
And yet duty calls, clamoring for another ounce of courage
Another shred of surrender, another pound of your bloodless flesh
Open the backdoor, let the radio fry itself hoarse
Let the phone hang and cry its phony tune
Let the gate slam behind you, swaying on screeching hinges
The old house, full of ghosts, nagging and begging
Look back, turn back, come back
You stupid girl,
You lovely girl,
You small, small thing
But there is nothing anymore you wouldn’t dare
Nothing now they can forbid
You’ve been halfway gone a long time
So go for good
Go, into the dark and towards the forest
Into the dark and away
Go and sleep under the walnut tree
Where breath is rare but the slumber is deep
There you might find rest and forget
Forget the taste of bile of every family meal
Forget the endless list of tasks
And even the grudges you keep
When you are all out of time, of hope, of composure
When you’ve crossed all the days, all the Ts
Dotted the Is and scratched them out in every Christmas picture
Spent the last of your restraint
And turned all the dials on the stove
Walk to the end of the driveway, to the end of the road
The tar still sticky with the day’s heat
The faces of the whole neighborhood,
Peering through curtains and keyholes
And that voice, sickly sweet, tugging at your sleeve
Pinching your upper arm
Telling you not to make a scene in public
The crunching gravel, coaxing and cajoling
Stay here, within reach
Stay near, within sight
Sit, stand, beg, play dead
Stay, stay, stay
You stubborn girl,
You dear girl
You odd duckling
For once, let it fall onto deaf ears
Go, through the thistle, through the thorns
Following the cool rustle of rushing water
You’ve been halfway gone a long time
So go for good
Go, beyond the bend and along the river
Beyond the bend and away
Go and sleep under the manchineel tree
Where every touch is seared and etched into your skin
There too you must sit still as the world eats at you
Each brush like the lash of a whip
But, at least, here you can ponder in peace
As patient as a boiling frog
Your head busy and buzzing
With thoughts sharper than a hornet’s sting
You may think and think and forget
Forget the whistled scream of the hissing kettle
Forget the many reasons for your rage
And even the way home.
The musical background was created using elements from Seeker by Kai Engel and хватательный рефлекс by Kosta T
#poetry #poetrycommunity #poetrylovers #poem
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