Biden promises to choose freedom over democracy

Serial freedom exporter Joe Biden has made a new campaign promise to end democracy, and for once we think he might be able to deliver. Speaking at a campaign event in Philadelphia, Biden uttered the confusing line ‘are you ready to choose freedom over democracy, because that’s America!’ Cue nervous cheers from the crowd. It’s not entirely clear what he was supposed to say, or if the DEI-hire speechwriter actually wrote that, but either way, we all know what ‘freedom’ means: more American taxpayer money to Ukraine.