Best of the Worst: Junka 4

Best of the Worst is BACK! After an embarrassing Halloween booze fest, we decide to stack up the old black spine tapes and play a game of Junka™! Heaven and help us!! This time legendary Hollyweird celebrity Milwaukee Culkin appears from behind a wooden thing. When he’s in town he’s known as Milwaukee Milwaukee Culkin Culkin (legal name change). What’s Junka™ you ask? Well I’m glad you didn’t. Junka™ is a game where we stack up tapes in rows of 7 or 8 or something like that. I think 7. I don’t care. And then pull tapes out, replacing them on the top of the pile with a spray painted tape. We used to use Nukie tapes until we put them all in a wood chipper. Now they is dust. Rich “The Barf Bag” Evans joins Mr. McCulkin in a pointless battle of tapes, wits, and skills that’s certain to be more difficult than Celebrity Jeopardy! While the last winner was Tim, he wasn’t around so we had Rich Evans battle Milwaukee. Milwaukee came prepared though. Bolstered by a healthy dose of Ego and anti-shaky hand medication, Milwaukee plans to defeat Rich “The Diaper Clown” Evans in this battle, thus forcing the gang (including himself) to watch ALL the tapes he was pulled out of them Junka™ pile. This is, of course, after the pile has fallen and a winner is declared. This game doesn’t make any cents! A new feature will also be added to Junka™ it’s called Poach-a-Pick™. This exciting new feature allows the winner to choose tapes from the loser’s pile for added misery! Ow! My Bladder! This spine-tingling episode also stars Jay “The Creep” Bauman and Mike “Lardo Boozer” Stoklasa as he eyes up the prize of the day: more beer to soak into his brain during the screening and subsequent discussions. You see, Mike once had a sweatshirt that said “I’m just here for the boos” with a photograph of a ghost on it. While a delicious pun indeed, this shirt harbored the terrible truth that Mike is truly just there “for the booze”. Mike films with the camera as does Jay and then makes the jokes, but really he’s there to consume so much alcohol he has to be carried up the stairs to his bedroom by several fire fighters. Jay also gets carried up to his bedroom by several fire fighters, but that’s for a totally different reason. Can Rich “The Adult Toddler” Evans defeat Mack is Back with the Hacks Culkin? I mean Milwaukee Culkin? I don’t know. You tell me when the first segment of the video is over. I know the answer already. I put my bets on Rich “The Man-Ape“ Evans. While he appears oafish and dumb, this kid does have skills with his hands, cock, and sharp mental focus. MaClunken Culkin has that star-power though, which may intimidate a mentally decrepit witless circus freak like Evans (46-year old toddler). Now, the thing with Junka™ is that while the pile is large and we do watch EVERY tape we doesn’t always place them on the table to talk about. Only the best are selected. This is the danger with watching a bunch of rando tapes. However, these boys are professionals and can usually talk about anything. They power through their injuries. Rich’s back hurts him 24/7. Jay just wants to be home watching weirdo movies with his cats. Mike drinks to forget and Magulkin Milwagon McCulkin counts the seconds down to when he can return to the warmth of Los Angeles where he doesn’t have to smell the rotting stench of failure bellowing from three mid-west losers.