Pronouns: why we should not play along.

For an essay I wrote on this topic see: Pronouns NO - give your own Maybe - abide by others’ requests 1st person - I, me, us, we 2nd person - you, y’all, yours 3rd person - he, she, them, it 3rd person pronouns are how people talk about one person to others. Reputation building. When someone asks us to use sex-mismatched pronouns we are not asked to lie TO them, but ABOUT them and FOR them. If we all have to give our pronouns the lie is softened because we enter a game in which we all pretend we forgot the actual meaning of these labels, therefore those who want to switch pronouns don’t stand out. Harmless neo-etiquette? NO 1. Undermines self confidence and resilience by asserting that one’s self concept is dependent on external validation. Anti- resilience/pro-fragility. Upholds illusion that “misgendering” or otherwise failing to confirm someone’s illusions is abusive and violent. That the feeling of not having one’s inner self-concept affirmed should hurt so badly is truly unfortunate  - ask deeper questions. If some individuals are unhappy enough with their secondary sexual characteristics that they engage in a radical form of self-rejection through a spectrum of cosmetic and medical interventions, AND require consistent affirmation… is pretending not to see the world as it is helping them to become healthier and happier or is it merely an act of codependency which enables dysfunction and fosters fragility?        2 Endorses and encourages narcissistic behavior Interpersonally exploitative behavior (I am using you as a mirror to reflect the image of myself I wish to see) Entitlement (you owe it to me to affirm what I say), Lack of empathy (I don’t care what you really think/feel), Arrogance (I demand that you bend to my will or I will say you are harming me) 3 Gender Confusion for Kids Encouraging kids who are uncomfortable with their developing bodies and identities to see their bodies as malleable and to reject their physicality, normalizing a medicalization of puberty. How to decline when asked? Say what you think- confrontational Politeness works: You can simply decline - I decline to offer pronouns I have no special requests Please use what you feel is appropriate