Bad-tempered bear rampages through Chinese village

A presumed porridge stealing incident went poorly in Xinjiang, China, when an extremely grumpy bear took exception to humans meddling in his business. Emergency responders turning up at the farm where the bear was spotted, tried to catch him with a noose, at which point the bear replied, ‘Noose? I’ll give you a f\*\**ing noose! Hold my beer Sharon...’ A rooftop chase followed, miraculously ending in no injuries, since no one took the bear up on his offer for a fist fight.