Largest Satanic gathering in history slightly rips up Bible

SatanCon 2023 was a rousing success, as Boston saw the ‘largest satanic gathering in history,’ beating the record set by last week’s session of congress. Satanists banded together to enjoy such satanic activities as ripping up Bibles, burning pro-police flags and attending lectures such as ‘Reclaiming the Trans Body’ and ‘Sins of the Flesh: Satanism and Self-Pleasure.’ The event marked the 10th anniversary of the founding of the Satanic Temple in Boston, although the Satan worshippers were quick to point out that they don’t actually worship Satan in the traditional sense. They merely ‘encourage benevolence and empathy, reject tyrannical authority, advocate practical common sense, oppose injustice, and undertake noble pursuits.’ And openly worship Satan. Pity the poor person who misread the flyer and turned up in a red suit with a pet reindeer.