Nox Hibernus - Wholesome Puppy-Hugging Black Metal

Written and recorded by me. Lyrics: I love black metal, yes I do but there’s something I don’t understand. There’s hatred and misanthropy in every single band. Why can’t they just for a change sing songs about pretty rainbows, put flowers on their album art and bathe themselves in cocoa? Throw candy at the audience and give out smiley stickers? Walk hand-in-hand as they skip through the land drinking lemonade and eating snickers? Why all this talk about Satan and werewolves and vampires? Why not hug a puppy or kiss a kitten instead of starting church fires? Make skulls out of paper mache, inverted crosses with candy canes? Make your corpse paint look like a kitty and dance a jig in the rain? Instead of having black masses, take extracurricular classes. Instead of playing black metal, play Jesus folk at your local church. This is wholesome puppy-hugging black metal! The kind of black metal you can take home to mother! Un-black metal, we’re black metal for Christ. We take joy in sucking Satan’s cock. (goat boy impression, etc.) Hail eating your vegetables! Hail brushing your teeth! Hail saying your prayers before bed! And hail on Sundays not eating red meat! Hail going to church! Hail going to Sunday school! Hail getting good grades! And hail not breaking the rules! Hail listening to Christian rock! And hail picking daisies! Hail hugging a tree! And hail helping old ladies across the street instead of shoving them in front of buses then laughing hysterically.